Life with Liberals in control...
Earlier this week, my Dad sent these to me via email from another source. I liked the idea behind it so much, I added some of my own. What would the world look like in the year 2029 with liberals in control of the world? Here are some suggested headlines in the media:
1. Spotted Owl plague threatens crops and livestock in the norwestern portion of the U.S.
2. Baby conceived naturally- scientists stumped.
3. Couple requests U.S. Supreme Court to reinstate heterosexual marriage.
4. Iran still closed off; UN estimates it will take at least 25 more years before radioactivity decreases to safe levels.
5. France pleads for help after being overrun by Jamaica.
6. US Post Office raises first class stamp to $17.90 and reduces mail delivery to Wednesdays.
7. Massachusetts executes last remaining conservative.
8. Supreme Court rules punishment for criminals violates their civil rights.
9. IRS sets lowest tax rate at 75 percent.
10. Florida Election Commission reports they are still having trouble with voting machines.
11. Ozone created by electric cars now killing millions in the 7th largest country in the world, Mexifornia, formerly referred to as California. White minorities attempt to have English recognized as Mexifornia's third language.
12. Environmentalists stumped after global temperatures decrease by 6 degrees over the past 15 years.
13. Prices topping all time high for Heating Oil and Natural Gas after last petroleum refinery is shut down in favor of nuclear reactors.
14. Togo reports they have a nuclear weapon ready for detonation. France/Jamaica in panic.
15. Polar ice caps and most glaciers increasing in size and depth due to colder, global temperatures...scientists stumped.
16. President Putin of Russia celebrates his 14th election victory.
17. Scientists studying the remains of Edward Kennedy in the family's glass encased tomb in Arlington Cemetary amazed at lack of decomposition. Reseachers resume study on alcohol consumption...
18. EPA issues 10 million, no limit (free) hunting licenses to US citizenry to control exploding deer population across the lower 48.
19. The makers of Pine Sol sued in court over widow defending herself against home intruder.
Intruder blinded- attorney cries 'foul'.
20. Boy Scouts of America petition to begin a new 21st Century Charter after being disbanded in 2010 by the ACLU. ACLU threatens to fight petition all the way to Supreme Court unless BSA allows homosexual leadership within troops.
21. Girl Scouts of America looking for new fundraising idea after USDA study concludes that consumption of mass quantities of cookies induce weight gain in both children and adults.
22. Fidel Castro celebrates his 112th birthday by firing Russian made SKS rifle from balcony.
UN threatens sanctions for "irresponsible display". French populace in panic.
23. Criminal successfully sues his victim for $80 million after it was determined victim responsible for said criminal's pants ripping while in pursuit of said victim.
24. France requests armistice agreement with Switzerland.
25. Bill Clinton, 84, arrested in Retirement Center for fondling geriatric patients in wheelchairs.
26. Al Gore announces candidacy for President with running mate John Kerry at his side. (Third time's a charm)
1. Spotted Owl plague threatens crops and livestock in the norwestern portion of the U.S.
2. Baby conceived naturally- scientists stumped.
3. Couple requests U.S. Supreme Court to reinstate heterosexual marriage.
4. Iran still closed off; UN estimates it will take at least 25 more years before radioactivity decreases to safe levels.
5. France pleads for help after being overrun by Jamaica.
6. US Post Office raises first class stamp to $17.90 and reduces mail delivery to Wednesdays.
7. Massachusetts executes last remaining conservative.
8. Supreme Court rules punishment for criminals violates their civil rights.
9. IRS sets lowest tax rate at 75 percent.
10. Florida Election Commission reports they are still having trouble with voting machines.
11. Ozone created by electric cars now killing millions in the 7th largest country in the world, Mexifornia, formerly referred to as California. White minorities attempt to have English recognized as Mexifornia's third language.
12. Environmentalists stumped after global temperatures decrease by 6 degrees over the past 15 years.
13. Prices topping all time high for Heating Oil and Natural Gas after last petroleum refinery is shut down in favor of nuclear reactors.
14. Togo reports they have a nuclear weapon ready for detonation. France/Jamaica in panic.
15. Polar ice caps and most glaciers increasing in size and depth due to colder, global temperatures...scientists stumped.
16. President Putin of Russia celebrates his 14th election victory.
17. Scientists studying the remains of Edward Kennedy in the family's glass encased tomb in Arlington Cemetary amazed at lack of decomposition. Reseachers resume study on alcohol consumption...
18. EPA issues 10 million, no limit (free) hunting licenses to US citizenry to control exploding deer population across the lower 48.
19. The makers of Pine Sol sued in court over widow defending herself against home intruder.
Intruder blinded- attorney cries 'foul'.
20. Boy Scouts of America petition to begin a new 21st Century Charter after being disbanded in 2010 by the ACLU. ACLU threatens to fight petition all the way to Supreme Court unless BSA allows homosexual leadership within troops.
21. Girl Scouts of America looking for new fundraising idea after USDA study concludes that consumption of mass quantities of cookies induce weight gain in both children and adults.
22. Fidel Castro celebrates his 112th birthday by firing Russian made SKS rifle from balcony.
UN threatens sanctions for "irresponsible display". French populace in panic.
23. Criminal successfully sues his victim for $80 million after it was determined victim responsible for said criminal's pants ripping while in pursuit of said victim.
24. France requests armistice agreement with Switzerland.
25. Bill Clinton, 84, arrested in Retirement Center for fondling geriatric patients in wheelchairs.
26. Al Gore announces candidacy for President with running mate John Kerry at his side. (Third time's a charm)
posted by Troy M. Stirman | 1:00 PM
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