A Greasy Spot In The Road....
At the risk of alienating the two women who have ventured into this blog, I must say that women in general will be the death of me- not figuratively, but literally! (Women drivers.)
Today, I witnessed a VERY common occurance here in town while sitting in the drive-through during lunch time. I'm two cars back from the front. A man steps from the front door of the diner and crosses in front of us warily eyeing the outside of the cars looking to see if anyone is coming. What he cannot see is a lady, who is passing our line of cars on the outside, driving so fast (in the parking lot) that she is aligned perfectly in the guy's blind spot. He can't see her between cars. The lady driving the white blazer nearly blasted this guy out of his sneakers! Much to the 'ol guy's credit, he did not wave the universal sign of peace when the woman slammed on her brakes. To HER credit, she rolled her window down to apologize to the fellow for soiling his Fruit of the Looms.
I've lived in this town for almost 5 years. Since arriving, I've noticed an acute outbreak of manic driving- from both genders. But after careful scrutiny, I've found that the women outnumber the men by about 4 to 1 when it comes to insane driving. I'm wondering if the local schools still teach driver's ed, and if so, WHO is doing the teaching???!!!
Several times, I've been forced to slam on my brakes because some woman looked me square in the eye before pulling out from a dead stop to enter my lane. (Of course, she waits until the absolute last nanosecond before doing so.)
I'm thinking of starting a local petition for my City Council to consider-"Mandatory City Wide Remedial Driver's Ed for All Women Aged 18-85"
Too bad I don't live in Louisiana, I think I know who the first to sign this petition would be!
To my wife: I wish cloning were legal- this town could use more drivers like you, babe!
Today, I witnessed a VERY common occurance here in town while sitting in the drive-through during lunch time. I'm two cars back from the front. A man steps from the front door of the diner and crosses in front of us warily eyeing the outside of the cars looking to see if anyone is coming. What he cannot see is a lady, who is passing our line of cars on the outside, driving so fast (in the parking lot) that she is aligned perfectly in the guy's blind spot. He can't see her between cars. The lady driving the white blazer nearly blasted this guy out of his sneakers! Much to the 'ol guy's credit, he did not wave the universal sign of peace when the woman slammed on her brakes. To HER credit, she rolled her window down to apologize to the fellow for soiling his Fruit of the Looms.
I've lived in this town for almost 5 years. Since arriving, I've noticed an acute outbreak of manic driving- from both genders. But after careful scrutiny, I've found that the women outnumber the men by about 4 to 1 when it comes to insane driving. I'm wondering if the local schools still teach driver's ed, and if so, WHO is doing the teaching???!!!
Several times, I've been forced to slam on my brakes because some woman looked me square in the eye before pulling out from a dead stop to enter my lane. (Of course, she waits until the absolute last nanosecond before doing so.)
I'm thinking of starting a local petition for my City Council to consider-"Mandatory City Wide Remedial Driver's Ed for All Women Aged 18-85"
Too bad I don't live in Louisiana, I think I know who the first to sign this petition would be!
To my wife: I wish cloning were legal- this town could use more drivers like you, babe!
posted by Troy M. Stirman | 9:07 AM
6 Comments:
Nice diplomacy-even-though-you're-lying -- but I do appreciate that you have learned, at my request, to at least not tell me how to drive when I'm driving.
And, I agree that women tend to be horrible drivers. Frequently I am one, too, because I am planning dinner in my head while trying to get the kids to the eye doctor on time while wondering when we'll get one of those "call your oven to turn it on" dealies. Women were way too distracted to be driving safely BEFORE cell phones became permanently attached to their heads. I dodge them every day.
Yes. . .well, after 21 years on the road, I finally had my first accident where I actually hit someone. It was caused by some hot shot GUY slamming on his brakes in a long line of cars. . .and the gal in front of me hit him and I hit her because the GUYS at the car wash had a sprinkler spiggot pointed in the lane and it was spraying just enough water to make the perfectly dry road abundantly slick enough to cause hydroplaning in a 10 foot area. . .go figure.
On the other hand. . .I tend to drive emotionally--even though I try not to--at times.Though I was neither driving emotionally NOR planning dinner when the accident happened.
My pet peeve is when people don't use their blinkers. If you're drivng 1500 pounds of metal, I'd like to know your intentions, please.
Hi Troy, I got on your blog from Sarah's blog about the whole gas price story. But while I'm here, I'll tell you what happened to me at Sams on the very day you wrote about bad women drivers.
As I was walking my basket to my minivan, a (I hesitate to call her a lady)woman came very close to running over me while backing her Toyota Sequoia out of her spot. It really shook me and called the attention of every one else in the parking lot as I was screaming. As she pulled on out and passed me, I looked at her hoping to get an apology for nearly orphaning my children. But NO, she continued her conversation on her cell phone. Man, I was sooo mad.
Laura- thanks for the validation!
I knew I wasn't the ONLY one in this town to have similar experiences. Next time someone backs up that close to you, do what I do and punch the nearest piece of sheet metal. That usually "wakes" 'em up when they are on the phone. When they get out of the car with a horrible look on their face like "what did I just run over?", tell them your baby stroller is under their car and you would like it back. (I had a woman almost break down in tears after I said that and I nearly had to shove her under the vehicle to prove I was only trying to get her to understand how unsafe she was driving!)
To Roxanne- you live in Houston, it occurs every second of the day! And if you hit the person in front of you- well, you were too close darling...but then I'm sure your husband told you that. :-)
Puh-lease! It's not gender specfic- it's just stupid people who can't drive. The whole cell phone thing drives me nuts!
Just found you over here - are you always so chauvinistic?
Denise- thanks for commenting. No, I'm not chauvinistic by nature.
I call 'em like I see 'em.
(Truth hurts, no?)
-Troy
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